Time passes so slowly when I’m idle. Seems like time can stall and but make you grow old at the same time.
Yeap, done SPM. I can’t wait for results to be out so I can start school again. A new kind of school – college. Although I have good friends around me in this town, I can’t help but feel tired of everything around me. I want something new, something different.
Currently I’m still slacking at home, feeling like a potato – no the fact is I am a couch potato – watching anime currently – but only at weird hours of the day. Other times I can either be on the piano, reading a little, at the bad computer, or out of house – seldom.
I started piano lessons again. In the beginning it was hard, like someone hit me hard on the head just by telling me I’m no good. Perhaps I had high expectations yet I wasn’t half way there and then come along someone who confirmed the fact that I was heading no where in the things I love doing, and can only do when anything else can’t be done. In fact, no one uttered a word that I was no good. I literally felt inferior to myself just because miss loke told me to do another piece, and it was easier, a Chopin Prelude which I did for sight reading and I knew it was no good. Getting jittery and nervous all over when starting a piece is a normal symptom which I have not/cannot get over all these years – but only when someone is watching closely. But recently all the inferior feelings started to fate bit by bit, realizing that it is not a single bit beneficial, only to destroy my enthusiasm for this hobby. Diletantte I am, but it’s cool. I love it although its clearly not going to be my career.
Cal had a birthday yesterday and she treated us at Roost’s. Peh Yee wanted to make it special, she set up a blog for us to write in and did a jigsaw puzzle picture of our faces. I didn’t helped out a lot, these days I just feel like a lump of useless stuff hanging around – like a benign tumour. She did go through the trouble of doing all those, but wanted the credit for it as well because we shared the present. I can understand, that’s her character. Yes, after St John I got back to these friends and get to know them better. I probably get to see their personalities better because everyone has grown up. 2 and a half years for everything to come to surface. Anyway birthdays, I start to side my mum that birthdays are just another day in your life, there’s no need to get all thoughtful and spent extra money on food and stuff. But its always a nice excuse to get some good food!
I took the driving course after SPM and had start 2 lessons on the road. What a fun feeling, but scary and funny all at the same time! It was fun to control a car, funny when the engine dies on me at a junction and people behind starts to get all impatient and start honking, and scary when the car gets out of control! But the fact is the driver herself is out of control! hahaha.
When for RYLA, it was so so, though I did learn through what I call an ‘experimentation of human behaviours and characters’. We were put together in groups randomly, like every other camps (although 3 girls pulled each other into our group without the facilitators noticing). I saw and experienced how our team worked through this random selection, and how we managed to pull through the Talent Night by winning Fourth place among all the other teams. Perhaps that was the only beneficial part of the camp. My Reebok shoe sole came off during beach trekking, I had diahorrhea on the 3rd night, I wasn’t very socialble but I guess I did improved, and I didn’t really get to fly up the balloon although I got in the basket awhile – the wind got strong and the balloon collaspe.
Shereen and abok came over right after SPM. Shereen and the Glam. Oh yes, I feel inferior in the girl’s world of fashion whenever I meet them. Last time abok would say to me, its good to be vain as a girl; today she’s regretting it a little that Shereen turned out to be like that, but doesn’t change that old habit of spoiling her daughter. I guess she travels too much, and Shereen’s left at home pretty often; and she covers up by buying materialistic items. Personal opinion. Old habits die hard I guess.
Kuku and family came on Christmas, and we had dinner in hannah lee’ place. The next day we went to hutan bandar to bring the kids for a swim. I would say, the kids are adorable, yet not adorable. They had cute looks and all the baby stuff hanging on them, but they had an intolerable habit of saying ‘no’. Seems like the word ’so’ is the sole word in their vocabulary. Favian isn’t showing any prodigious signs of talents yet, maybe a late bloomer. Trina still cries a lot when she doesn’t get things she wants. I can say it straightfowardly that I don’t tolerate these behaviours, and my kid next time would get disciplined if they show these kind of behaviors. Now I’m not too keen on seeing these cousins until they stop their bad behaviours. Maybe it all lies with the parents. They need to experiment more on how to keep these kids in the correct behavior. The suitable way of taking care of different kids. Human behaviour is an interesting topic. Parenting. hah.
Christmas was spend in the church’s Christmas banquet. It was okay, like always, I don’t always find their performances entertaining enough when compared to Adeline’s Church, Daya Gospel Centre, Christmas youth party. A small group of people, but a lot of effort and talent! Calista had me to accompany her so I joined in the fun. The small group of people were entertaining, friendly, and warm. The pastor gave a good message, that I thought was very suitable for unbelievers as it is not so ‘preachy’ and uses an easily understandable metaphorical method about how we are priceless in God’s eyes. Its not correct to judge things, then again I am skeptical about things as it is because I may have better expectations and standards for how things should be like.
St John is bad, from the news I hear. The Board of Directors had a new ‘feel’ in it as most of the higher posts went to my grandjuniors. Teacher was pretty mad about how the older ones handled things last year. My hands are out of the selection of board members these time round. Or rather, I didn’t have a single chance on choosing my St John Board members when we left the Club. They had a pretty bad farewell for us too, on the last day of school just before SPM started, and the number of members who attended was scarce. A pathetic farewell. Anyway, I had my glory days with my beloved teammates and did not have to face such terrible consequences like how our juniors had. They had not win a single competition and did things so badly throughout the year. Our team was on okay terms with Kelly again, so its cool. She realized her terrible mistake with Gwee. BUT, Vanessa was stupid enough to comply to his sweet talk. Yes. Boyfriend. A Cheap One. Indeed, she had the guts to get my team’s blacklisted guy as her boyfriend. We had no say in their doings, unlike our seniors who had completely controlled our lives like a dictator. Probably beneficial to the extend.They are Blind. Yes, Blind, Naive, and Stupid. Perhaps desperate altogether.
So here I am, waiting for another episode of Monster to load. I’m almost at the end already, to see how the big story falls into place. It is a very good anime, wonderfully written and post-produced with good soundtrack and drawing, detailed story and history even of the real world. Half-fiction, I would say. And philosophical. How cool is that? I don’t actually find it scary, because there’s no ghostly pictures or drawings in it. It is completely in real life form. Besides this series, I have also finish watching Itazura na Kiss, Nodame Camtabile Paris, and Vampire Knight guilty. All were nice anime, Nodame is always the entertaining one, Itazura na Kiss had the lovey-dovey stuff but the story was well set over a long period of time, and VK was dark like always, sometimes touching, drawings that remains stunning kept me watching it till the end. VK’s manga is still ongoing, indicates there might be a 3rd season in the anime! I’ll continue watching all the good titles, picking up japanese on the way!
Ja, na!
Recent Comments